Maybe my colour coordination is getting a tad obsessive…
There is an issue with how women are depicted but Playboy isn’t it
It was new years and as I was getting ready I received a phone call from the friend I was about to go meet for celebrations. She had a request for me. Now I’m the kind of person who is extremely OCD when it comes to clothing; if I think x goes best with y I will be in a piss poor mood the entire day if someone makes me wear z. Fully comprehending this, she asked that I cover my legs when we went out. My brain went into panic mode as I realised this would entail a complete change in make up and ensue a colour coordination nightmare. Not to mention, I didn’t want to because I’d feel uncomfortable - like I’d have to go up and explain to people that I don’t usually dress so boring, especially on occasions such as new years. She rattled off a multitude of reasons but the one that struct me the most was the one that she always came back to, self respect.
This is an issue I have been faced with on countless other occasions but I can never seem to get my head around it. What the hell has my clothing got to do with self respect? I have the power to wear whatever I so desire and have the confidence and creativity to pull together combinations that I am immensely proud of. I’m proud of who I am, what I wear & how I wear it down to how I apply my lipstick in the morning. I do it for me. To be told that this is somehow demeaning myself is heartbreaking and moreover infuriating as I feel what I am doing is the polar opposite.
Self respect is defined as proper esteem or regard for the dignity of one’s character. I believe this involves having faith in yourself and moreover, your choices. Surely succumbing to other people asking me to dress differently as they believe it shows little self worth would be second guessing my own judgement and choices? Choices that make me happy. Every choice we make in our lives defines who we are as a person. Therefore, every choice in our own lives that we let someone else make is belittling our own self worth. Self respect has nothing to do with your cleavage or vagina. It’s about recognising that you have the ability to be in complete control of your facilities and not letting exterior pressures stop you from executing that power. That dress you adore but never wear because it’s too risqué, don’t you love how you look in it? Then wear it god dammit! You want to dance on that pole but people will think your a slut if you do? So you stand around doing something that is second best to you because that’s what other people want? Yeah, that makes sense. You obviously respect yourself a ton…………..
So, why do we attack women who are in control of their facilities?
Yes ‘feminists’, I’m pointing the finger at you.
The thing that inspired me to write this was not the event or countless others I’ve had like it which I described above but to do with something that has cropped up among peers of mine on the subject of feminism and ‘lads’ mags’. Apparently these magazines are degrading and shouldn’t be on display. Is it really that degrading though? I happen to think it isn’t and calling them so is in fact anti-feminist. If anything, it shows how far we’ve come as a society in embracing sexuality from the days of ‘The Notorious Betty Page’ where seemingly tame photographs were forced onto the black market and could result in jail time.
Women should not be made to feel ashamed of their bodies, sexuality or what they choose to do with them. These things should be embraced and celebrated, especially by those claiming to be feminists. These women have enough confidence in their own skin to use it to their advantage. Attacking that surely undermines your own cause and is frankly just childish? As a woman, degrading other women who have a made a living for themselves by asserting their womanhood is at it roots, anti-women.
We are in a society where we as women can do so much. We can embrace our sexuality and be provocative and alluring without worrying if it will disgrace our prospects to become housewives. This petty name calling gives off the impression that you can have your sexuality or a career, your sexuality or respect. Why can’t we retain both? That’s what feminism should be doing but instead it’s pushing these things further and further apart, attacking the media and models. Once it was thought women could not marry and have children while pursuing a demanding career. Recent discussions and observations among my peers have led me to believe that maybe we haven’t come that far from those times. I’m not saying that all these industries are free of indiscretions. They all have their misgivings but these are hardly relevant when so-called feminists do not know what it means to respect other women and their choices and in turn, what it means to respect themselves. Instead we cook up melodrama about magazines on sale at the newsagent. Big deal, she has her tits out. When was the last time you heard a guy complaining about sexism in advertisements with scantily clothed men that are so prevalent? These things you’re making into issues, they’re not and by making them issues you are reflecting badly upon all women and feminism itself.
Please, get over yourselves.
Like this? Please take a look at ‘One step forward, two steps back? Concept Albums, Mixtapes, Classical Music & Generation Y’ & ‘I judge you on your music taste’.
Maya x
Boom.
